Honestly, not rocket science

Close your eyes. Picture the last time you ate some fudge. What was the experience like? Did you tear through layers of plastic and laminated carboard, discard the glossy insert, unwrap the plastic wrapping of the fudge bar, take a bite? Then slowly slip into a sugar coma, rewatching Always Sunny in Philadelphia? The Night Man, anyone?

If that is you, then you are my peoples. I am right there with you. Love eating fudge and kicking back, but there was always something a little off. Most of the fudge, even the luxury “craft fudge” with all the rustic trappings, left a plastic aftertaste. It was as if there was a chemical film between the things that make fudge amazing: the creamy smoothness of the dairy and the gentle sweetness.

Well, it turns out there is a chemical film. Here are my ingredients: Caster sugar, Golden Syrup, Butter, Cream, Sea Salt, Vanilla Essence. I spent about five minutes randomly picking two fudge producers, Thorntons (left) and Potters (right):

I don’t mind Thorntons fudge, my point is not that any of these ingredients are particularly harmful – it’s just why the fudge is palm oil your fifth ingredient? Why would you need water in there? Or a raising agent. Yummy, can I have some some more Red Iron Oxide? Nothing tastes like Christmas more than a bit of Potassium Aluminium Silicate. (Last were ingredients from Fudge Kitchen)

The further I looked into it, the more it fudged me off. The ingredients read like a chemical formula. All the caramel sparkles and the banoffee pie flavours are there to mask the pungent tang of mass production, it’s produced by people in lab coats rather than aprons. Next time you eat some, once you get past the sweetness, you can taste the chemicals.

That’s when I started making my own. That’s it really. I don’t want a medal or a parade. Just thought I’d share that. But I can haz medal, right? And now, the Night Man…